Thursday, November 11, 2010

Women hunters?

So the other night I was talking to my husband about hunting. Let me give you some background... My dad was never a hunter, never owned a gun, never even interested in that. My husband went pheasant hunting once with his dad when he was a boy, that was it. He has not hunted since we've been married, even though he kinda wants to try it sometime. We have lots of friends that hunt, and we've even enjoyed some of their elk meat. It wasn't too bad, we liked it!

I know there are women that hunt, but they are a different breed of women than the ones I know! I imagined women going hunting, and it gave me the giggles. Imagine with me, if you will...
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Four women hiking, and pitching a tent by themselves (this takes time), after lugging food and clothes in backpacks uphill to the rough campsite. " I broke a nail!' Number one says. "You did?! Already?" "Yeah, we haven't even been here an hour!" Number one replies. "Does anyone have a nail file?" And all four women pull one out of their toiletry bags at the same time! (Men would use a knife!)

After they get their sleeping bags out, they settle in for the night by having a big, long, heart-to-heart talk/ cryfest. They soon realize how cold it is... and how tired they are. The tent gets quiet and.... "Man, it is COLD! Cold out here! Can anyone else feel their toes?" "No, nope, not me", they all reply.  After zipping their sleeping bags together, it is a little better. In the morning, they can see their breath! They poke their hands out of their bags long enough to play rock-paper-scissors to see who will make the coffee. The one gal who loses bursts into tears, while the others sigh and snuggle back into their warm bags.

When the Loser opens the tent flap, they all realize it snowed during the night! Now she is REALLY not happy that she lost...

After a short time and a lot of banging around, the gal realizes she has to make a fire to get the coffee started. She has no idea how! "Oh, I was in Girl Scouts once, let's see... " She thinks... She proceeds to find wet wood and the only paper they have is note paper in her purse, along with paper towels. The other gals get up after she miraculously places hot coffee mugs (made with flavored creamer, of course!) into each of their hands. Despite having three pairs of socks on, and all of the pants she packed, Number two is still freezing.

"Why are we here? This is supposed to be fun? How can I be warm without my husband to help me? "
she says.  Number four says"Yeah, this is crazy...but let's get to it, girls!" So they gather their packs, guns and lunches after they clean up breakfast and head out to hunt some wild animals.

After talking constantly on the trail about their hair stylists, they decide to head out into a patch of trees and brush to wait. After a few moments of rare quiet, a deer slowly walks onto the scene. Number three gets out her gun, and Number two says, "What are you doing?" "I'm gonna shoot it!?!" But it's probably a momma deer, what will her babies do? Didn't you ever see Bambi?!" "Oh shush, it is not Bambi's mother..." And she takes a shot, tagging the deer in the chest. The other gal begins to cry... "This is so sad... Now what do we do?! "

They end up going home without a deer or any meat, and decide they NEVER want to hunt again!
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I'm not the best writer, but I hope you enjoyed my silly story. Thanks for indulging me! Have you, as a woman, ever been hunting? I dislike being cold, so I can't imagine enjoying it... :-D

1 comment:

  1. You made me giggle ... especially about the creamer. :)

    ReplyDelete

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