Birth Order Book

Where do you fall in the birth order in you family? Are you the oldest child, middle, youngest? How does this effect the way you are? It is quite interesting to think about...

One of my favorite topics that I've discovered in the past ten years is birth order. I find the topic to be a fascinating one, and I thought I'd share about it here. I gave a presentation for our MOPS group several years ago and these are some of the notes that I made from the book, The New Birth Order Book by Dr. Kevin Leman. If you don't know Dr. Kevin Leman, he's wonderful! He's a Christian author that has written many wonderful books, such as A New Kid by Friday, Making Children Mind without Losing Yours, as well as the Birth Order Book.

The New Birth Order Book- By Dr. Kevin Leman  NOTES

When talking about birth order, all general statements are indicators, not rules!

Which Traits fit you best?

A. Perfectionist, reliable, conscientious, list maker, well organized, hard driving, natural leader, critical, serious, scholarly, logical, doesn’t like surprises, loves computers

B. Mediator, compromising, diplomatic, avoids conflict, independent, loyal to peers, many friends, a maverick, secretive, unspoiled

C. Manipulative, charming, blames others, attention seeker, tenacious, people person, natural salesperson, precocious, engaging, affectionate, loves surprises

D. Little adult by age seven, very thorough, deliberate, high achiever, self-motivated, fearful, cautious, voracious reader, black-and-white thinker, uses “very,” “extremely,” “exactly,” a lot; can’t bear to fail, has very high expectations for self, more comfortable with people who are older or younger

Birth Order Variables

-spacing-- number of years between children

-the sex of each child- and in what sequence males and females are born

-physical, mental, or emotional differences-- yes, genes are important

-sibling deaths- which, if occurring early, cause the child below to be “bumped up” to the next birth order

adoptions- which may or may not have an effect on birth order, depending on how old the child is when adopted

-the birth order position of each parent- first-born parents usually run a much tighter ship than later- borns

the relationship between the parents- and the parenting style they use as they pass on their personal values to their children

-the “critical eye” of a parent- constant criticism takes its toll

-the blending of two or more families due to death or divorce- in a step family certain birth orders usually get stepped on

A Quiz for all spouses

1. Do I nitpick? Do I find fault with what my mate wears, says or does? How often?

2. Do I take the time to encourage my mate?

3. So we talk things out? Have we set aside time”just for us”?

4. When was the last time that we took a weekend away from the children?

5. When was the last time I gave my mate a compliment?

6. When was the last time I gave my mate a special present for absolutely no particular reason except to say, “I love you”?

7. Speaking of “I love you,” when was the last time I said those three little wonderful words to my mate?

8. What is the one thing I know my mate would love to have me do? Am I planning to do it this week?

9. Do we worship together? Or are we like too many couples who seem to have decided that God is like the Edsel, obsolete?

10. Do I take the time to find out what my mate is really interested in? Do I take the time of understand the “ins and outs” of his or her favorite past-time or activity?

11. When was the last time I “kidnapped” my mate from the office (or maybe from the ironing board), taken him or her away on an overnight?

12. When was the last time I came home early from work to take care of little "Buford" or "Festus" and let my mate go window shopping or run some errands?

13. When was the last time I said, “I am sorry. I was wrong. Will you forgive me?”

Answers to above quiz: You are probably...
A= Oldest child
B= Middle child
C= Youngest child
D= Only child

This book was so interesting to me, that I "examined" all of my family members, and I had most of my family members read this book. My family fits into this model, and I found what Dr. Leman says to be quite convincing!  I still have a copy, and have loaned it out many times to others. There are also a few copies of this book in our MOPS library at my church. If you haven't read it, try to find a copy at your local library or church library, it is worth a read!