Dealing with Depression

 I tried to post this Friday, but Blogger was having problems, so here is my post from Friday...

For this "Faithful Friday", I wanted to talk about my story and walk through depression, which is not as low and "through the valley" now as it once was...

I have dealt with depression before, and it really all began for me in fall of 2001. There were several factors that started it all: my husband lost his very steady job that he'd had for over 5 years- it was not his fault, the company was sold & moving to another state, and we didn't want to move away from family. So we realized how losing a job can really shake up our security in it. Also, we had been trying to get pregnant with our second baby for over 6 months, and it was starting to wear on me. (You can see my post about secondary infertility here.)  There were other small factors too, such as Rebekah being sick with croup and missing things because of it, the weather getting colder and being cooped up inside again, less sunshine in the days, etc.,

Then, September 11 came... and shook up our whole country around us. I learned that our nation can be vulnerable to major attacks, and how there was security related to living in the U.S.A. and even that can be shaken too. My parents had flown just the night before the attacks, and I was a little concerned for them initially, but they were fine. Later we learned a family friend had been in one of the two towers of the World Trade Center, and that shook me up too. Eventually I just had to stop watching the news, it was too challenging to see it over and over, even as an adult.

I began crying a lot, and decided to go see my family doctor. He recommended some medicine, and seeing a counselor. I had a tough time deciding if I wanted to take the medicine or not, since I knew that I would not go off of them for a long time. (I have tried to stop taking it a few times with bad results, so I am on it to this day). I also have a family history of depression, including my dad, grandparents, and a few siblings (though we didn't know that at the time). So after meeting with our Pastor, our Bible Study, much prayer and discussion, I decided to take the meds. They did not help immediately, but they did begin to help.

I was fearful of being alone, so I "hung out" with friends every day. We didn't do anything too fancy, just sitting and talking, relaxing, and being together. I had a lot of wonderful friends at that time that allowed me to come over to their home, or came to mine for most of the day. I would do chores and laundry in the evenings when my husband was home. I did visit the counselor, and she was a woman, and good listener and very understanding. While I am not sure if she was a Christian, she did not discourage my beliefs. She encouraged me to change my way of thinking, to make things to look forward to, and do things in my life that were fun, just for me.

She also encouraged me to begin wearing silly socks. Why? Just to have something little to smile about each day. So I started collecting socks that have hearts, flowers, pumpkins, shamrocks, and all kinds of patterns or lines on them. I wear them to this day. They are easy to match, and my kids like them too! They are an easy gift idea for me, and I frequently get fun socks in my stocking at Christmas. :-D

Here are some other things that helped my time of depression:

Christian music

Sitting in the sunshine, walking

Reading through the Bible in a year (I did that twice!)

Painting my nails (I still do this when my kids are sick!)

Practicing the Presence of God (book)

Watching funny movies (Rat Race, Napoleon Dynamite)

Silly socks

If I fill a basket for someone with depression, this is what I'd include:

Kleenex (a BOX, it's ok to cry)

bubble bath, scented lotion

journal and fancy pen

cd of encouraging music (such as the song below)

and of course, a pair of silly socks!

This song by Building 429 seems to apply to this message:

"Listen to the Sound"

Are you in over your head 
Are you in water so deep you're drowning 
Do you think you've been left 
And there is no one to feel your hurting 
Well, everybody has been there 
And everybody's felt lost 
If you're in over your head 
Lift it up, lift it up 

(Chorus)
Oh, listen to the sound of hope that's rising up
Over your horizon 
Listen to the sound, listen to the sound 
And listen to the sound of a new beginning 
Oh, this is where the old is ending 
Listen to the sound, listen to the sound 

I hear you say you're alone 
I hear you saying that you'll never make it 
I've got to tell you you're wrong 
‘Cause I have been down this path you're takin' 
You'll never know what faith is 
‘Til you don't understand 
Sometimes it takes a silence 
To finally hear His plan 

Chorus

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound 
I once was lost, but now I'm found 
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound 
I once was lost, but now I'm found 

Chorus

His Grace is reaching for us 
His Grace is reaching out 
Listen to the sound, listen to the sound 
Wherever you are
(X2)

You can hear this song on YouTube here.

I hope this honest post has helped you in some way, to realize that there are those out there that deal with depression, whether you know about it or not. It is a terrible, awful time filled with negative, harmful thoughts. I felt that my prayers to God were "hitting the ceiling." I tried to read the Bible but it didn't seem to speak to me. There are many wonderful verses, such as Isaiah 43:2-4 "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you... For I am the Lord your God... you are PRECIOUS in my sight... and I love you." God promises to never leave you or forsake you, even if you may feel like He has, He is there... (Hebrews 13:5) And remember, "I have inscribed you on the palm of my hand..." (Isaiah 49:16)

If you are dealing with chronic pain, you can read my post related to that here.