My husband is the worship pastor at our church. This article that I read in a Christian magazine called, "The Banner" resonated with me, as a "Sunday ministry spouse." It reminded me that October is Pastor Appreciation month, please don't forget to thank your pastor and family for their ministry in your life!
It was written from a wife to her husband, and she is the director of discipleship ministries at her church in Ohio. I felt it was written to me, so I will tweak it slightly and include it below:
To the spouse who supports me in Sunday morning ministry (and the many people with family members) who serve in churches:
I know Sunday mornings are not the peaceful, relaxed times that so many of your friends enjoy.
There are no tranquil Sunday brunches, no sleeping in, no impromptu weekends away at the cottage, a few weekends away at all.
We are among the first at church and the last to leave.
For four hours in the day of rest, you keep track of our children while I am leading other people in ----- (fill in the blank... worship, Bible Study, prayer, or helping their kids). On Sunday morning the sacred time that most families spend together, you are on part-time parent duty.
You are my go-to last-minute nursery (or praise team) volunteer. You jump in as greeter for newcomers, basketball teammate for children, and server for meals at special events.
You listen and listen and listen as I process what ministry means, as I struggle with the challenges of finding volunteers, of church politics, of trying to get others on board with my vision, or striving to bring growth in a slow-moving, albeit wise, institution.
You didn't know when you said your vows that you'd be signing up for all this-- saying no to weekend social events because we are booked every weekend; leaving Saturday evening events early because Sunday is my Monday; saying no to vacations during Christmas or Easter; becoming a default volunteer for most activities on our church's calendar; staying home with the kids on evenings during the week when I have to work.
My ministry is in the foreground- the children's messages, the preaching, the worship leading, the games, and teaching, and songs and activities (whatever the role may be for me). My ministry can be measured and recognized by hours and smiles on faces. I'm the one who gets thank yous and hugs. Your ministry is in the background, and like so many in Scripture, you do the quiet, seldom-recognized work of supporting.
And you do it willingly. Over and over again you offer to step in. Over and over again you hear my frustrations and joys, my prayers, and my challenges.
A helpmate. When I see all that you do Sunday after Sunday, I can think of a few better words.
I see you and the pastors' spouses and ministers' children and families of people in vocational ministry. I know there are thousands of hidden hours that you put into our callings. I am so grateful. Thank you for all of the work that you do to make my work possible.
-adapted from an article by Melissa Kuipers, 2021
The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
Ephesians 5:31
“For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
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